i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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