i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
