so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
