I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
