she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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