i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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