you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
