That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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