Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
