i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize