The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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