wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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