i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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