Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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