Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
