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  • Submitted by AreYouShittinMe on Sep 13, 11 at 1:13pm

    unbeknownst to you, my penis and i keep no secrets from each other and are truly bff's. and that 'secret handshake' where he 'spills' his secrets on you was my idea.

  • Submitted by W_T_F on Sep 13, 11 at 1:32pm

    If you are best friends, why does he spit on you everytime he sees you?

    • 53 56
      Submitted by ck24 on Sep 13, 11 at 2:11pm

      lol good one

  • Submitted by sssmarie on Sep 13, 11 at 1:31pm

    Stage 5 clinger. Watch out.

  • Submitted by porksword on Sep 13, 11 at 8:09pm

    Did it tell you he wants to meet all your friends?

  • Submitted by sevensevenseven on Sep 13, 11 at 3:51pm

    Very well then...carry on...

  • 51 59
    Submitted by Squarewheel on Sep 21, 11 at 8:11pm

    Oh shit crazy bitch alert! Get one last HJ then abort! Ok maybe two... Then abort, all right one mor.... Oh shit we have fallen for her trap!

  • 56 74
    Submitted by jacobbaugh on Sep 13, 11 at 4:53pm

    This is San Diego for you.

  • 62 95
    Submitted by jltc on Sep 13, 11 at 5:06pm

    Oof. The grammar is a turn off.

    • 55 51
      Submitted by clamsmash on Sep 14, 11 at 1:23am

      your use of an interjection is a turn off because interjections have no real grammatical value.

  • 49 72
    Submitted by LoboMatt on Sep 15, 11 at 1:50pm

    Dude, I told you it was only one time!

  • 16 20
    Submitted by Babygirlxoxo on Feb 2, 14 at 12:02pm

    Desperate to not let go of the D

  • 51 90
    Submitted by Indecisivewitdis on Sep 13, 11 at 5:08pm

    Tell that crazy chick your penis said it's over and it don't want no lip about it!

  • Submitted by untameableshrew on Sep 13, 11 at 1:54pm

    This is, by far, the MOST pathetic thing I have ever read; well @ least on TFLN.