He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
