your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
