eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize