She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
