bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
