I wanna passion pit in your ass
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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