Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
