I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
