Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
