I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize