New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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