So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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