You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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