Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
