So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
