Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
