In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
