doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
