im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
