I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
