you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
