Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
