garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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