My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
