remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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