i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
