whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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