you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
