Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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