I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
