What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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