We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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