theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize