She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
