We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
