I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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