Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
