if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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