I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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