Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize