I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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