We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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