Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
