Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Randomize
