Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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