I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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