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  • Submitted by mazerati on Jul 15, 11 at 4:25pm

    This is either an excerpt from a police report or a romance novel.

  • 78 56
    Submitted by Phys on Jul 15, 11 at 4:52pm

    Now the juvenile gets to get tried as an adult

  • 78 64
    Submitted by protectoroftext on Jul 15, 11 at 5:59pm

    Proceeded* grammar police.

  • 63 53
    Submitted by thatgirlsarah on Jul 16, 11 at 12:52am

    Is this some sort of bizarre Mad Libs?

  • 59 55
    Submitted by nonphotoblue on Jul 15, 11 at 4:14pm

    Matches, that's old school.

    • 47 53
      Submitted by jltc on Jul 15, 11 at 4:43pm

      If I smoked, I would totally use matches. And I'd practice lighting them in front of a mirror so I could pull off that whole 1950s newspaper reporter thing.

  • 49 47
    Submitted by motorteeth on Jul 16, 11 at 6:54am

    Report-writing is such a vital skill for law enforcement professionals....

  • 56 65
    Submitted by appocolypse77 on Jul 15, 11 at 6:55pm

    Then what happened? Tell me a story..

  • 51 57
    Submitted by unicornpoop on Jul 16, 11 at 8:04pm

    Bull shit

  • 46 47
    Submitted by breezyyb08 on Jul 15, 11 at 8:31pm

    WINN (:

  • 48 54
    Submitted by nursesdoitbetter on Jul 16, 11 at 12:12pm

    between his legs? or lips?