Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
