Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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