we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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