she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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