shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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